my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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