Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he thought i was a dude.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
