I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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