Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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