It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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