Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
