Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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