Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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