I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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