your parents love me but you hate me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Randomize
