found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
