Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
