I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
