I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
