Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
