and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
