I want to stick my p in your. b.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
