what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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