Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
