Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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