nut hugger
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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