I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
