i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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