I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
