I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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