everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
