You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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