she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
