I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
