he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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