we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
