I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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