she was so not down for the gang bang
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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