If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
