i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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