hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i think i have two assholes
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
