ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
