Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
