Have you finally orgasmed yet?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
