before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you traded sex for a burrito?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't turn off my feet"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
