My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
