i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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