jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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