i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
