Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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