You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
