I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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