I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
