we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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