Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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