its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am available for nakedness
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
